mylittlesniperrifle | Audio Log #1

[Audio]
[The feed kicks on, but the screen is dark. Seems this will be an sound only. Whoever turned it on has started it mid sentence.]

-come in! Seriously! Come in, Carolina!

[Doesn't sound happy. Epsilon isn't quite sure where he is, and a feminine snickering coming from his gear is making things worse.]

God dammit, just shut up for one moment! I'm trying to reach someone.... radio must be fried. Wait, since when have I needed a- you know what? Forget it. If this is another capture unit, at least it's not Blood Gulch this time.

[Have a few moments of whistling and general noises one would make while bored.]

Yep. This is great. Fuck this peace and quiet. [And the feed cuts out after this.]

[Action]
[Of course Epsilon is sure to take the sassy comm device. It won't shut up and it's his only clue as to where the hell he might be. The map app said something about New Bark Town, which he is going to assume is the place he just left behind. The trainers manual was a boring read, the red and white ball wound up being a bust (little did he know his little Porygon jumped ship into the gear), and now he was tired.

This was not how he had planned his day. Nope. He had tripped a few times and found out the hard way that this was indeed a fleshbag he was in, not his nice little AI or robot body.

Not to mention the music was pissing him off, that sleeping bag was going to be way too small, and why was there laundry soap? Was there enough to wash his armor? Might just have to find out the hard way...

Anyone who comes across this guy on Route 29 will be overhearing quite a swear fest. Very not PG.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah, yeah. I could be fucking dead.

[Or in his case, defragmented. Dead is easier to comprehend for others.]

Oh, there's worse things than that.

Edited 2016-04-09 02:01 (UTC)

Got examples?

[He laughs, but it's... a dry laugh.]

Being tortured, enduring long-lasting wounds that don't heal properly and only make you wish you died, watching everyone else die around you, being forgotten... just to name a few. I could go on.

[He's had #1 done, and the last two send a shiver down his now existing spine. The watching everyone die one is something he will do his best to avoid.

No one wants to see their friends die. He's already lost Tex that way...]

Fucking point made.

Heh.

Anyway, this place is much more pleasant than that. Kid-friendly, almost.

So no death, world destruction, computer programs coming to life to kill you, and fuck all what else could happen in non-PG land.

Pretty much. Occasionally there's a larger threat, but even with that, it's still generally a pleasant and peaceful place. Sure, Team Rocket sometimes sets off bombs, but nothing ever seems to do much damage.

Though if you want an idea of how twisted this place can be while still being somehow child-friendly, use your Pokedex app to look up Yamask.

[First Red and Blue Teams, and now Team Rocket? Sound just like home. If you count the lack of military bases, Lopez, and team killing fucktards.

Epsilon takes a moment to do just that.]

WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF POKEMON IS THAT?!

[Oh god, no, please don't let him be one of those when he dies in this place.]

Why haven't people eradicated them?!

Honestly, that's not even one of the worst ones. Though Yamask can be very good Pokemon to train. I have one, myself. ... Well, it evolved, but still...

Why the hell are people training ghosts?! This place would be a wet dream to an exorcist!

[Hmm... that might be a business to consider. Leonard L. Church, Exorcist.]

Ghost-type Pokemon are fairly standard fare around here. They're very good overall, and they're excellent when it comes to inflicting status effects. My starting Pokemon was a Ghost/Dark type.

[That's creepy that ghosts are so... normal.]

Don't want one. I'll stick to critters I can't put my hand through.

Suit yourself. There's plenty of other kinds of Pokemon.

Since there's dinosaurs here, there's gotta be dragons. Tell me there's still dragons in this game.

There are Dragon-types, yes.

[This is said more to himself than Naoya.]

Fuck yeah.

Yes, yes, it's easy enough to get a massive dragon and ride atop it to crush your enemies. The novelty wears off after a bit, though.

You don't just use your dragons to crush your enemies! Just having one makes you all the more badass.

Only if you know how to use them correctly.

Just having them is good enough for me.

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