Audio Log #1 | Action

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[Audio]
[The feed kicks on, but the screen is dark. Seems this will be an sound only. Whoever turned it on has started it mid sentence.]

-come in! Seriously! Come in, Carolina!

[Doesn't sound happy. Epsilon isn't quite sure where he is, and a feminine snickering coming from his gear is making things worse.]

God dammit, just shut up for one moment! I'm trying to reach someone.... radio must be fried. Wait, since when have I needed a- you know what? Forget it. If this is another capture unit, at least it's not Blood Gulch this time.

[Have a few moments of whistling and general noises one would make while bored.]

Yep. This is great. Fuck this peace and quiet. [And the feed cuts out after this.]

[Action]
[Of course Epsilon is sure to take the sassy comm device. It won't shut up and it's his only clue as to where the hell he might be. The map app said something about New Bark Town, which he is going to assume is the place he just left behind. The trainers manual was a boring read, the red and white ball wound up being a bust (little did he know his little Porygon jumped ship into the gear), and now he was tired.

This was not how he had planned his day. Nope. He had tripped a few times and found out the hard way that this was indeed a fleshbag he was in, not his nice little AI or robot body.

Not to mention the music was pissing him off, that sleeping bag was going to be way too small, and why was there laundry soap? Was there enough to wash his armor? Might just have to find out the hard way...

Anyone who comes across this guy on Route 29 will be overhearing quite a swear fest. Very not PG.]

Comments

action

[shotlocking]

[ .... SHE LOOKS SO OFFENDED RIGHT NOW?? ]

Excuse me, but I hope you realize there are children who can see everything you post on the network.

permathat

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[As if you could see how little he cares through his helmet.]

Yeah? Then why the hell are their parents not censoring this network shit or something? Isn't that what the ESRB thing supposed to be about?

[shotlocking]

[ SIR

This one's gonna be a handful, isn't he. ]

The children here don't seem to have parents.

[ ... she's not even gonna ask about the ESRB thing. Whatever it is. ]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[Yeah, not really caring.]

That's not my fucking fault! And why do kids have communication devices in the first place? Talking all day on this shit will give them brain cancer.

[Totally messing with you.]

text

[secondplacing]

[Carolina's busy training with Stripes and Sheila when this goes up. FILLS, however, is always paying attention to the network.]

HELLO!

IT APPEARS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR MY DESIGNATED TRAINER, AGENT CAROLINA! WOULD YOU LIKE FOR ME TO TAKE A MESSAGE?

text

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[Oh gosh F.I.L.S.S. needs to think of a message because her trainer refuses to acknowledge her at the moment.]

HELLO.

MY TRAINER, DESIGNATED WITH THE NAME EPSILON, IS CURRENTLY INDISPOSED. HE IS CONTEMPLATING THE MEANING OF HIS LIFE IN JOHTO. I DO NOT WISH TO DISTURB HIM FOR HE MAY CALL ME 'GOD DAMMIT SHUT UP' AGAIN. MY DATABANK INFORMS ME THAT IS NOT APPROPRIATE.

IF THIS CAROLINA TRAINER WISHES TO SPEAK WITH HIM SHE MAY RETURN HIS CALL WHEN HE IS DONE. ESTIMATED TIME OF COMPLETION: UNKNOWN

[secondplacing]

HMM. I UNDERSTAND SUCH BEHAVIOR TO BE UNSATISFACTORY. PERHAPS CORRECTIVE MEASURES SHOULD BE TAKEN.

HOWEVER, AGENT CAROLINA IS CURRENTLY IN TRAINING WITH MY COMPANIONS. PERHAPS AN ALTERNATE METHOD OF ALERT MAY BE USED SO THAT HE MAY PROCEED WITH HIS MESSAGE?

[Audio]

[crouching_sin]

It's not a radio, it's a phone. Sort of. And you're not in some kind of capture unit. At ease, soldier.

[Ugh. Military types. What a pain...]

[Audio/Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[Epsilon looks over at the gear he's thrown on the ground. He picks it up and looks it over. A comm device?]

F.I.L.S.S is that you making that noise?

[F.I.L.S.S. let's out a sigh, messaging the trainer.]

HELLO

MY TRAINER IS NOT AWARE OF THE MANY FUNCTIONS OF THIS IS DEVICE, INCLUDING THE TALK FUNCTION.

[Back to audio.]

Hey! I am too aware! Are you trying to call me a fucking idiot, F.I.L.S.S.?!

[Audio]

[crouching_sin]

Maybe they are. But you're new, so I suppose that's excusable.

[video]

[faintwaves]

[Because she's just staring, unsure of what to make of all of that.]

You're fine. Um, except for the angry swearing part. You can check the list of people here to see if your friend is there, too.

[video]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[Oh god this thing has a video function, too? Why the hell is a kid talking to him? He's not Tucker! That guy was good with kids, not him...]

"Angry swearing part?" Kid, that's not angry swearing. If I was angry swearing, there'd be a lot more fucks in every sentence, a few assholes here and there, and to end it there'd be a threat to kill someone.

[Wait, is that safe to tell kids? Ugh, who knows... his memories that he can think of don't really deal with children that much. Everything is work, work, work. The director was all work and no play.]

Friends? Why the hell would they be here? There's nothing for those guys to blow up! [He doesn't see bases anywhere...]

[video]

[faintwaves]

So...people use swearing besides when they're angry?

[That looks like it's news to her.

Also rude, she might look young but she's a teenager.]

Pokemon can learn moves to blow themselves up kinda? And it never makes sense why people are brought here, we don't know so we just make do.

[text]

[quadrangle]

[... Okay, normally he doesn't give a fuck, but—]

WEREN'T YOU JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT GHOSTS.

[text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[Do you know how hard it is to text in this armor. He'd let F.I.L.S.S. do it... but this was actually something Epsilon should follow up on personally.]

No. I just fucking got here and haven't seen a single ghost. Ghosts aren't real.

[text]

[quadrangle]

WELL YOU SURE AS FUCK SOUNDED LIKE THE OTHER GUY
AND YOU'LL SEE ONE EVENTUALLY. I'M NOT SURE WHERE THEY ARE IN THE WILD EXACTLY BUT THEY'RE OUT THERE.

YOU MEANT AGENT CAROLINA, RIGHT? HAS SHE CONTACTED YOU YET?

video;

[pipers_son]

[...Huh.]

First of all, 'lo there, everyone in the whole world can hear ya, no need ta shout.

Second, ya wouldn't happen ta have a twin, would ya? Because I'm pretty sure I've talked ta a chap that's a bit like ya.

video;

[mylittlesniperrifle]

Well sorry I hurt your delicate ears with my shouting.

[100% best impression so far.

... twin...? Wait, that means-]

No. I have siblings, but not twins. Does that guy happened to be named Church?

video;

[pipers_son]

Apology accepted~.

[What do you mean, this impression is clearly sterling. Joker gives a hum at the next question, however.]

Believe that's it, yeah.

perma audio

[dosomethingslacker]

Dude, you just--

[Wait.

Wait he's asking for Carolina.]

Oh fuck.

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[... okay, he's happy, but at the same time all he can do is internal swear enough to make a whole platoon of sailors blush.]

What the fuck, Tucker?! First Carolina, and now you?! Do not tell me Caboose is here, too.

[Though if everyone was here, this whole video game world is fucked.]

[dosomethingslacker]

No, thank god. He'd probably have a fucking mammoth of a monster by now.

But yeah, sup.

[Okay it's been half a month, things aren't that bad.]

[Text]

[callbacks]

hey whats up this is daves transport at your service how can i help you

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[Does this guy do this for a living?]

The name's- [Fuck, he can't go by that other name, not with Alpha here.]-Epsilon. I need to get to Goldenrod as fast as possible.

[Text]

[callbacks]

if you need anything faster than teleportation youre gonna have to look elsewhere
whats the hurry this place isnt that exciting

[Yeah he totally didn't listen to the post.]