Audio Log #1 | Action

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[Audio]
[The feed kicks on, but the screen is dark. Seems this will be an sound only. Whoever turned it on has started it mid sentence.]

-come in! Seriously! Come in, Carolina!

[Doesn't sound happy. Epsilon isn't quite sure where he is, and a feminine snickering coming from his gear is making things worse.]

God dammit, just shut up for one moment! I'm trying to reach someone.... radio must be fried. Wait, since when have I needed a- you know what? Forget it. If this is another capture unit, at least it's not Blood Gulch this time.

[Have a few moments of whistling and general noises one would make while bored.]

Yep. This is great. Fuck this peace and quiet. [And the feed cuts out after this.]

[Action]
[Of course Epsilon is sure to take the sassy comm device. It won't shut up and it's his only clue as to where the hell he might be. The map app said something about New Bark Town, which he is going to assume is the place he just left behind. The trainers manual was a boring read, the red and white ball wound up being a bust (little did he know his little Porygon jumped ship into the gear), and now he was tired.

This was not how he had planned his day. Nope. He had tripped a few times and found out the hard way that this was indeed a fleshbag he was in, not his nice little AI or robot body.

Not to mention the music was pissing him off, that sleeping bag was going to be way too small, and why was there laundry soap? Was there enough to wash his armor? Might just have to find out the hard way...

Anyone who comes across this guy on Route 29 will be overhearing quite a swear fest. Very not PG.]

Comments

[Text]

[callbacks]

are you still close to the center of town because thatll make it easier for wart to spot you
i guess a visual wouldnt hurt either

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

I can get there quick.

[Visual, visual... He's stumped. Turning this to video mode takes a moment.

There we go. New Bark, all shiny and boring.]

That good enough?

[Text]

[callbacks]

how is wart supposed to know hes got the right guy dude

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

Could have been more specific.

[Have a guy in cobalt armor on your screen.]

[Text]

[callbacks]

oh
well ok
he should be able to pick you out
incoming

[And, shortly, there is a Gallade appearing out of the blue.]

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[...........]

Is it that Power Ranger looking thing with the red eyes?

[Text]

[callbacks]

yeah
also he can hear you think so probably you shouldnt call him a thing
hes sensitive

[Wart rolls said red eyes.]

I'm not sensitive. It's just rude.

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[Okay.

Ooookay.

That was not cool. Not cool at all.

Was this what it was like when he talked to people inside their helmets?

No psychic types for him.]

Look, Power Ranger, can we just get this over with?

[Text]

[callbacks]

[Wart shrugs graciously and nods, adjusts his bandanna, and then--vwoop!--there they are at the Goldenrod Pokémon Center. Hopefully Church doesn't get teleportation motion sickness, it can be disorienting.]

all good dude?

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[WHOA OH NO yep it's the ground meets head scenario. The ceiling looks nice from here.

Let's just take a moment.]

It will be once the fucking world stops moving.

[Text]

[callbacks]

i have it on pretty good authority that the world never actually stops moving and we just dont notice cause were moving with it
like laws of inertia and all that
physics

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[Haha. He knows that.
Fucking smart aleck kid.]

Very funny. You know what the hell I mean.

[Please be nice to the guy who has never had a body of his own.]

[Text]

[callbacks]

i hear putting your head between your knees is supposed to help
if not im pretty sure wart dropped you off at the pokemon center which is where all the free health care is so youll be ok

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

[That requires sitting up. Rolling over onto his side is the best option right now. Better yet he has a question.]

You named the teleport ranger Wart?

[Text]

[callbacks]

yeah thats wart
wart is him

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

Why

[He doesn't see it. Wart looks nothing like a wart just like the Warthog doesn't look like a warthog.]

[Text]

[callbacks]

its short for wartimer

[Okay, now he's just bullshitting.]

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

Now you're just shitting me.

[Text]

[callbacks]

is this the featureless red text of a man who would shit you bro

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

You sound just like Tucker.

[Text]

[callbacks]

carolinas friend tucker??

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

Exactly.

[Hey, his friend, too.]

[Text]

[callbacks]

aw shit dude hes great
he got so happy about fucking coffee it was so funny
so hey does that mean youre a crazy buff space soldier from the future too???

[Text]

[mylittlesniperrifle]

It's not like we had a coffee machine, or coffee, back home.

[...................]

You've got the future space soldier part right.

[Text]

[callbacks]

youd think being a space soldier would sort of necessitate getting swole